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 It's been quite a while since I viewed the documentary "None of the Above" in CSRE class, but I didn't find the time to write my blog entry directly afterward.  I appreciate that Professor provided some quotes in his e-mail tonight to jog my memory and give me a place to start.  I will talk about some of the quotes now, and how they relate (or not) to my own experience:

“At first I felt special, then I felt different”
I believe this transformation may have applied to me when I was very very young, but memory of feeling "special" at home and then "different" at school is vague to unclear to my mind.  Rather, I can recall feeling very different in elementary and middle school, and actively changing my mindset to something more positive--the idea that as a multiracial American, I could serve a special person to educate others and discourage racism and stereotyping in my community.  Something also interesting to note is that as I have gotten older, my appearance has become less racially ambiguous (I am viewed by most people I meet as a Black woman).  As a child, I had much lighter skin and lighter hair, which led to more "What Are You?" than I experience today.

“I learned not to talk about myself”
This is an interesting quote, because it marks the moment when I started to "get tired" of always being the racial facilitator of a "teaching moment" for my peers.  At first, I was glad to have such a special role in my group, and I appreciated the responsibility that came with my multicultural background.  But after a while, I discovered that not everyone would be very receptive to my "teaching moments," and that some people never wanted to be reminded of my race at all.  So in order to blend in or assimilate with more homogenous racial groups, I learned not to talk about myself very much, and to be more of an observer or listener in conversations.  I believe I became more quiet or shy over time, due to this conscious effort to avoid conflict in racial dialogue.



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